I made it

I went to the party and ate tons of food. Some bread, 1/2 a crabcake, salad, 1/2 of my entree and a wonderful slice of cake. I wanted to get rid of it but I did not want to purge. It was tough. But I did it and I survived. I gained 3 pounds this am but I know it is weight that will come off easily. That is huge for me.

Today was tough. S-my hubby ran a half marathon and I always get nervous. I did not pack myself the food I NEEDED and so I was hungry-had a soy latte..had some soy milk-they were handing it out-the high sugar one and that kind of got me screwed in the head-the fucks were coming in my brain-the war was starting

"Why don't you just eat everything since you messed it up with a sugary soy milk"

"NO!!"

Then I went home and had almonds, crackers with hummus and some flax crackers. I felt like that was too much. I wanted to get rid of it but I got in the shower and screamed. It worked. I made it through. We have another party tonight for the Jewish New Year. We are going to my hubby's in laws and I am nervous. I do not hate being with his sister and his mom but I do not look forward to it. Now his Dad and step mom I adore and love spending time with but anyway.

So tonight I am going to take myself and my boundaries again and hopefully I will post another day of no PURGING. I have not made it past 3 days in months. That would be huge.